Second Month In LA: Brutally Honest Thoughts

So it’s mid October. I’ve been working as an intern, getting paid 200 a month for doing work most graphic designers would get paid 200 a day for. I took this job because I believed in the company. It was exactly what I wanted to do. Content writing, graphic designing, good company with good values. There was also a promise of commission and a full-time job at the end of two months (which will be November 18th for me).

The bad news is that we thought this would work because Mitchell would have a job by now. He’s had a couple good interviews this week after applying to over fifty places and not hearing a peep out of anything. Nothing solid yet.

We have this month’s rent and some change, but next month is about to kick us hard. We’re struggling. It’s not fun, it’s not easy.

Some people may look at this situation and say, “Well, why did you move out here in the first place?” My answer, to be honest, was that I trusted that God would provide for us.

Mitchell and I both put our trust to go into the wilderness, working hard, and praying that God would provide the necessities. We don’t expect things to just fall into our laps. We don’t believe in prosperity gospel. We just believe that God takes care of us.

But it’s been hard to believe this lately. I mean, I have no idea what will happen tomorrow. The company I work for might close down. They might let me go before they hire me on full time (or what’s actually looking to be part time now) because they can’t afford me.

The good news is we found a nice community to be a part of. We joined a church and have started serving on their worship team. A song we’re singing this week has the lines, “I’m going to see a victory.”

But I don’t know if I actually will.

Maybe I was stupid for wanting to follow my dreams. You might think so. But I believe that I was meant for something. I trusted that this is what I was supposed to do. I didn’t expect the road to be paved. But I thought there might at least be a machete to hack through the weeds.

I’ve started applying to other part time jobs: donut shops and coffeehouses, because if we don’t have enough money to pay our student loans and rent, God only knows what’s going to happen to us.

If you resonate with these struggles, I encourage you to share your story in the comment section below. If you’ve ever come through the other side after going through hard times, let me know. I need some inspiration and encouragement. I need to know that there are people out there who have gone through the same thing and made it.

Also, if you’re able, please check out my donation page, which you can find here. It would really help us out.

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